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Stop blaming

Oct 18, 2015

Chasing happiness often involves considerable effort and time. Sometimes even money. Who has not played the Lottery in the hope of winning big and thereby become happy? I think most people have done something along those lines.

Instead of chasing momentary happiness try to work on feeling good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you cope much better with the challenges life throws at you every day. You are someone other people like to be around, and you will find that you become a magnet of happy moments to enjoy.
If you want something different, you have to do something different, so why not try and STOP doing things that put you or others down? Easier said than done? – absolutely - but it is well worth the effort.

Blaming is rife in private as well as business life and while it gives a sense of righteousness, it achieves nothing. Think about all those management meetings, e.g., that degenerate into “blame storming” what did they ever fix?

When something goes wrong, it is easy to blame others for your problems. When that happens, step back and think what part you might have played in things going wrong. Did you provide the right information? Did you check your diary? It is not the airline’s fault if you turn up late for your flight and it is not your partner’s fault that s/he did not buy shampoo if you never told her/him that you had run out.

Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Taking responsibility for our own decisions and actions can be painful, but in doing so we give ourselves the chance to learn and do better next time. Realising your mistake and correcting it for the future actually feels good and as a bonus, other people will not have reason to blame you.

A variation on the blame game is when you blame yourself for everything, including the wrongdoings of others. If you fall into this category, you will feel better when you STOP blaming yourself for actions and situations that you did not cause. This can be a difficult habit to break as self-blame is just as automatic a response as that of denying responsibility and blaming others.

The trick is to catch yourself in the act and do something about it. Blaming is a very negative emotion and the less we do it the better we feel.

If you want to make changes and lack a bit of motivation and structure to do so, then contact me as coaching could be the answer.

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"I could always rely on Peter to ask a thought provoking question that stimulated my own reasoning and thought process. Coaching has been a very positive experience and I feel I am better equipped to manage my work environment and myself." LC