Companies selling household items, dishwasher manufacturers, and marriage counsellors are unanimous in naming dishwasher etiquette as a major course of marital argument. A UK survey says 31% of women state dishwasher etiquette as the biggest cause of arguments. A survey in America found that 40% of Americans fight about loading the dishwasher and 61% can’t agree on whether to rinse or not before loading. Some dishwasher manufacturers publish load and unload guides and have even created a virtual dishwasher-loading game.

All of this is probably missing the point. When people in their relationships have serious arguments over things like dishwasher etiquette, toilet seats being up or down, and the toothpaste cap being on or off there is usually something else and far deeper going on which needs to be sorted out.

When something goes wrong in a relationship the first thing people tend to do is to blame the partner. So before you do that - stop and think. If you are about to heap blame on your partner consider the possibility that you are blaming him/her for your own wrong doing, poor attitude or what ever the case might be. Then change your own ways first if you take your relationship seriously and see what happens. At least then you know that you have done your part which puts you in a stronger position when discussing the bones of contention in your relationship.