When you are afraid or insecure, you hang on to situations, relationships, jobs, habits, ways of thinking etc. because knowing what you’ve got is comfortable.
But clinging to what you think you need and what you are used to, even the things that you know are detrimental to you, is not a great idea.
If you have already had a go at stopping blaming and/or impressing you will know how hard it is to let go of doing something you are used to doing or which has become a habit.
The danger of letting go is to overdo it. Not everything in one’s life needs to be dropped and replaced with something new.
You know already what it is you do that you would benefit from not doing anymore. It is the things, activities, or people that make you feel bad or that no longer give you any joy. So take a step back and make a list (mental or written) of what you are clinging on to that you would be better off without.
Having been honest with yourself and listed the things you could let go of it is time to ask a few questions. Have I tried to improve the situation? Did it work? Is it worth trying again? Depending on your answers, it is either time to improve and rectify or simply let go and move on.
Making a decision to let go of something will give you more space to do the things you enjoy and be with people whose company you enjoy. So, pick one thing from your “let go list” – and by all means, start with an easy one to practice on, one that does not throw your whole world into chaos. For example, if you do not like your dentist – find another. You have one thing less to worry about and the dentist will not go hungry just because you are no longer a client.
As you get used to the idea of daring to let go, you will find it easier to tackle the more complex issues.
Letting go is not easy because it means that you have to know what you want and what you do not want. Until you know that, you won’t be clear on what to keep and what to drop.
Coaching can help you define and sense check your “let go list”. Talking it through with someone neutral helps you get the confidence that you make the right decisions for the right reasons. Contact me to find out if coaching could be a way forward.[Go Back]